Sunday, July 1, 2012

A Cameo song suddenly pops in my head...

I watched this movie earlier today with my friend Amy.  It was and was not what I expected. I like to think that we all have coming of age moments throughout our lifetimes, and this movie seems to have examined a coming of age moment for our protagonist, Lola. First, let me state I was pleasantly surprised to see Debra Winger and Bill Pullman playing her parents in the film, as I do think they are fine actors who just don't get enough work nowadays.  Another point, I'm glad they used lesser known actors for the main roles, because that seemed to make the story more believable. Final aside before I get to my theme - I love movies where the character makes me empathize. Yes, I said it, empathize, not sympathize with her.

Now my main point - I'm young.  Not chronologically, because say what you want but 39 is middle aged.  What I mean when I say I'm young is I think like a young person.  There was a time, 10-15 years ago, where I would have said this was not the case.  In fact, I'm finding the older I'm getting, the more I'm regressing.  I don't know if this is common, but I'm realizing that I have a youthful spirit about me that I didn't have before. This does not, in any way shape or form, mean that I am more likely to put up with bullshit. I'm young, but I'm not stupid.  It's just I have a lot of friends that are younger than I am, along with an appreciation for the youth/ young adult culture of today.  This is not to say that I don't like hanging out with older people, because some days those are the only people I want to be around.  I'm just saying in general, I'm pretty immature.

Perhaps because of my inexperience, immaturity or whatever the case may be, I'm having some issues with some things that seem to flow for everyone else.  Notice in the photo, it says Lola vs. Sex, Love, Lola, The World. Lola, a typical 29 year old at the beginning of the film, is excited because she gets engaged to a man that she is convinced is the love of her life. Life is going well until our main character is dumped by her fiance. Her life takes all kinds of wacky twists and turns over the next year, and we get to go through it with her. I'm watching this movie, however, thinking although I haven't had her exact same experiences, her problems are my problems. See, she was obsessed with her ex-fiance.  Not in a stalker sort of way, but in the way that people tend to put others ahead of themselves.  I admit it, I've done that before. Not for extended periods of time, because after a while, that shit becomes annoying.  But I've done it and I can't say I won't do it again.  But is that something that people do? I mean, I thought spouses did stuff like that. I guess I'm wrong.

Another question I have from the film, and this is something that I've had to address with more than one person lately... Why do people insist that you find someone when you aren't looking? Lola and her best friend had that conversation. I've had it recently with one of my cousins. A lot of people say this to me on a regular basis. This is my problem with that statement, if you're single and you want a mate, you're looking for a mate. Period. That's all there is to it. There are some days where you may look harder than others, but every day you are putting it out there be it in the way that you dress, your actions, your interactions with others, just name it.  Now, don't get me wrong, you may be shocked once you find it, but to say that you weren't looking for it is disingenuous in most cases.  After all, how many people meet on websites? That's eHarmony's whole selling point, the number of great matches they have due to their "scientific method" of matching up people. What is it, 47 different levels? For that matter, look at the amount of money people spend on these sites, just to avoid being alone.

I often say that I'm going to end up alone.  I have good reason to believe that is true.  According to the wisest woman I know (my mother) I shouldn't say that because I don't know what God has in store for me.  I know this much, if He had plans for me to be with someone, He would have made me more willing to put up with idiocy.  Just when I think I'm willing to deal with a guy, he goes and does or says something stupid... Or one of my friends points out some flaw in him that I can't overlook... Or I realize how much easier it is to just not be serious about him because of myriad reasons that I'm not willing to list at this point.  I'm kind of tired. I've repeatedly said that I'm sick of people, but I think I'm going to honestly try to do some stuff differently in order to avoid dealing with a lot of people for a little while.  Folks are getting to be too much. So, you all will still hear from me on Facebook or any comments made to this post, but if you don't see me or hear from me otherwise, don't worry, I'm okay. I'm just pulling away for a while.  And no, it's not because I am hoping to find someone special or any of that bull, it's honestly because I want to get back to a place where I like people again, and until I start to miss some of y'all, I need to stay away.

During my absence, try not to suck.