"All you need is love," or at least that's what the Beatles said, right? And not just you, the whole world needs love according to Diana Ross. Love, love, love... We hear about it all of the time. In every song, in every movie and television show, every book... Humans have an obsession with love. Ewan MacGregor's most famous line in Moulin Rouge? "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to be loved and love in return..." We're not happy with agape or philos love either, it's eros or it's nothing at all. Why?
I wanted to get biblical with this for a moment. Everyone, turn your bibles to 1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 8, then skip to verse 13. See, here in the bible love is described as charity. Of course, this is often the most quoted chapter during wedding ceremonies. This is, of course, right after the bride has walked down the aisle to Kelly Rowland's song "Motivation." Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit with that last line. What I do know is even people who aren't necessarily the strongest believers (or believers at all) will use those verses as a description of the love they have for their mate. In the future, maybe those verses shouldn't be the ones that are used. Perhaps we should consider Song of Solomon 1: 2-4... Ladies, there is a verse for you to share with your man, try Song of Solomon 1: 13. See, the difference is in Corinthians, it's all about philos love - how you treat mankind. Of course the bible has many examples of agape love - the unconditional kind God has for us. But Song of Solomon? Yeah, that's all about eros love. But what y'all know about that? Y'all don't know nothin' about that.
I had to write this tonight. My cousin is going through some things right now, and he inspired me to write. What can I say other than love is everyone's favorite and not so favorite subject. We're all obsessed with it. We spend our whole lives talking about it and how we want it or need it and gotta have it and can't live without it. Well, most of us do, except my Road Dog Amy. She told me to tell y'all "stay away from romantic love. It's an emotion and emotions pass. Get a vibrator and call it a day!" As lovely as that sentiment is, it's kind of unrealistic. Love happens. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen for all of us. Personally I think that's where we go wrong. We expect it to happen because it happens for so many other folks. The last guy that I dated seemed to be fascinated with the fact that I was (and I still somewhat am) convinced I won't ever fall in love. The fact that he even caught on to me saying that was a miracle in itself, seeing as he had the attention span of a gnat.
Some of you might be asking at this point "why doesn't Lisa believe she will ever fall in love?" Well, there's the issue of never having been in love and I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30. Of course that leads some of y'all to ask "well then how in the hell does she think she can blog about love?" Just because I haven't fallen in love doesn't mean I haven't broken anyone's heart. All I want to say about that is the other point the man with the attention span of a gnat made was people always want what they can't have. So, the people that have fallen for me did so because they couldn't have me. Of course this reminds me of the conversation my mother and I had earlier... Mary is brilliant and we'll leave it at that.
Which brings me to my question, and this one is for the boys... Why do you always want to go for a woman who is out of your league? Don't get me wrong, I had a bad habit of falling for men that I could never have. But usually that was because I wanted to deny the guy was gay (George Michael) or maybe he's an A-list celebrity (George Clooney) or he plays for the Green Bay Packers and he's very married (James Jones) or whatever you want to say, that was my previous problem. Now I'm just learning to accept that as a 7.5 - 8 on a scale from 1 - 10 (I admit I have my flaws) I need to follow Joey Tribbiani's rule of dating. As a 7.5, I can date another 7.5, or a 4 and a 3.5, or a 5 and a 2.5, or three 2.5's... You get the idea. Men, on the other hand, always go for women that could do better than them, so these women have to settle. Perfect example, President Obama. Don't get me wrong, our President is pretty cool. He has swag on swag. But let's face it, Michelle is certainly smarter than he is, there's a reason she was his boss. As long as I'm being political, let's look at Bush 43... Dubya did not have the best reputation when he was younger... But Laura is a total class act. She put up with his shenanigans, and it paid off in that she became the FLOTUS, but was it really worth it in the end? Why oh why do we put up with it from these men?
Not that women aren't without their flaws. I always promised myself if I did ever get married, I would NEVER nag my husband to death. How in the fuck a man doesn't haul off and knock a nagging chick out is beyond my comprehension. Not that I condone violence against women by any stretch of the imagination... I just know that I don't want to hear the shit when I get home from work so I imagine he wouldn't want to hear it either. Also, being the man in the relationship is for the man. I'm not saying women have to stay in the kitchen except when they're in the bedroom... I'm saying let a man be a man, whatever that may mean to him. Do not belittle him. Remember that you don't have to "obey" him, because that's for pets and children, but at the same time, he deserves to be respected.
Maybe we'll all get it right before December 21st, but I doubt it. Feel free to comment and give me some insight, because I only pretend to know everything. Love to you all during this holiday season...
